May. 31st, 2012

tigira: (Default)
I really despise that my body continues to fail on me.  It's a painful spiral.  I am fighting it, but geez!

Ok, first the secondary infertility.  So much has happened since then, though, that I only sometimes get teary about it.  Yes, it still feels like I'm being flayed alive when it hits me, but there's a lot more time in between those times.  I actually managed to MAKE a baby toy for a colleague whose wife should deliver anytime now!  This is progress.

Then the weight.  It's a constant struggle.  I get it mostly off, and something happens that completely throws me for a loop, and I end up back where I started.  I haven't gotten to the "gained more than I lost," place, though.  That's something, right?
I really can't manage the WW meetings anymore.  Three cycles tried, three cycles completely interrupted.  *sigh*

BUT, I had appointments and checkups this fall and early winter, and everything looked GREAT!  Blood values were excellent, blood pressure was great, pulse was a little higher than I like, but still well within the healthy range.  Ok, so I was fat, but doing ok with it, and keeping everything in check.

Then the Crohns hit.  Boy did it hit.  There were times I thought I was dying.  One of them was at Arisia (which is when we figure I had my very first flare up).  It's been a struggle.  Since it hit, though, my blood pressure has been elevated.  Sure, it might be related to the pain and stress of the Crohns, but it's been elevated for a few months, now.

But my resting heart rate is GREAT!

My heart rate is still really good, but my blood pressure is now scary high, for me.  Ok, it's not "We're putting you in the hospital right now," scary.  If I didn't have a cuff at home, now, I wouldn't know how bad it could get, though.  So I have an appointment this afternoon.  Also, I've been really bloated lately.  Perhaps this is why.  Or perhaps the blood pressure is because of the water retention.  IDK.  *sigh*

I know what I'm going to hear.
"Lose weight,"  yeah, like I'm NOT trying?
"Exercise."  I walk at lunch every day that I can.  When I can is determined by weather, hip pain, and whether I can be that far away from a bathroom that day. (I've been realizing that I pretty much need to fast for about a half day before I go on a road trip in order to be able to spend most of the day on the road, not at rest stops).
I WAS going to a gym 3-4 days a week.  That stopped when my hours were changed at work.  Now, when I can get to the gym, the machines that can work with my body are all in use.  

I suppose I can look elsewhere.  Perhaps after FSG.

tigira: (Default)
I took the lisinopril at 4PM, so I decided to take a reading to see if it's working...


Still not great, but SO much better.  I wonder if it will get better as I take the medication for a longer period of time.

I'm not afraid to go to sleep, now.
I'm also not afraid to do more than a short walk tomorrow.

This is good.  When it was so high, I was afraid to do anything strenuous.

I tried doing the gazelle in the morning, but F comes in and begs me out of it (he wants to use it, which throws me off).
Perhaps I'll start doing yoga in the morning again, and put out a second mat in case F wants to join me.

Now, off to do my pre-bedtime meditation and head to bed. 


tigira: (Default)

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